She recommends the We-Vibe Verge or the Lelo Tor Ohnut Technically speaking, the Ohnut isn’t a sex toy so much as it’s a sex aid. However, it’s a product all people with penises who sleep with vulva owners should know about. This product slips over the base of the penis to limit how much of the penis is able to go inside the vagina during P-in-V intercourse. The point? To make penetrative intercourse more pleasurable for vulva owners who might otherwise find it painful. Butt toys Finally! The part of the guide where we talk about butt stuff! “Why anal toys can be pleasurable is pretty simple,” Wolfe says. “No matter what your genitals are, your anus is loaded with nerve endings.” Butt plug “Butt plugs can create a pleasurable sensation of being stretched or of being full,” Wolfe says. “And for vulva owners, because the anal canal and vaginal canal are right next door, they can also be worn in the anus to make the vaginal cavity tighter,” they add. Beyond just being pleasurable for a partner with a penis during P-in-V, a tight vaginal canal can increase the feeling of fullness for the vulva owner.
According to Wolfe, this can increase the chance that the G-spot gets touched during penetration. Choose your next butt plug based on your experience level with anal: Beginner: b-Vibe Snug Plug 1 Intermediate: nJoy Pure Plug Advanced: b-Vibe Rimming Plug 2 or b-Vibe Bump Textured Plug Anal beads “While butt plugs are about creating a sustained sensation, anal beads are generally about one moment and movement,” Wolfe says. “They’re designed to massage the sphincter when they go in and create a pleasure pop when they’re pulled out,” they add. Intrigued? Check out b-Vibe’s Cinco anal beads, which have a vibrating option. Prostate massagers We’ve already touched on vibrating prostate massagers, but — spoiler alert — not all prostate massagers vibrate. Some are basically just butt plugs with a special shape (aka increased curve) to support prostate stimulation.
“Prostates respond well to firm, methodical pressure,” Finn says. “Often the base of the prostate massager will have a handle so that you can rock the toy back and forth against the prostate to create that pressure.” For intense, vibration-free prostate stimulation, check out the Aneros MGX prostate stimulator. Toys for the kink-curious “Most beginner kink toys are all about eroticizing erogenous zones that often get ignored, or creating surprising sensations,” Wolfe says. Here’s where to start. Blindfold It’s simple: By taking away one sense (your sight!), your other senses become much more heightened. “Touch becomes that much more electric when you can’t see what’s coming,” Finn says. Make your own blindfold out of a bandana or tie. Or, check out this Sex & Mischief satin blindfold. Feather teaser “Feather teasers can be used to provide a really gentle touch along the body,” Finn says. “They’re especially great after impact play on the now-much-more-sensitive area.”
Check out: Sex & Mischief feather tickler Unbound Tsk Babeland pleasure feather Handcuffs Like the idea of having to tell your partner exactly what you like, because you can’t show them? Turned on by the concept of being dominated? Give handcuffs a try. “I don’t recommend classic police-style handcuffs, because they’re metal and could potentially cut one of the important veins near your wrist,” Finn says. She recommends something that either has a wider cuff strap or is made out of a flexible material, like: Unbound Cuffies Babeland Heart 2 Heart cuffs Sportsheets adjustable wrist cuffs Note on safety: You should never ever (!) leave someone bound in handcuffs unattended. Sex furniture Sex furniture might sound super, ahem, freaky, but even if you and your partner identify as The Most Basic Couple In The World, sex furniture can be used to make your sex life more pleasurable.
Benoit Beads“Really, sex furniture is just designed to help you and your partner get in more comfortable positions during positions you already love — or want to try but can’t due to physical limitations,” Wolfe says. Pillow and wedge Unlike the pillows you sleep on (which are usually squishy), sex pillows and wedges are made of a stiff (but comfortable!) foam that helps support your body, explains Wolfe. “They’re great for folks who aren’t super flexible, or who have a tough time holding up their body weight,” Wolfe says. Try propping the Dame Pillo under your hips during anal missionary so you and your partner can enjoy eye contact during anal sex — or to increase the chance that your partner hits your G-spot during penetrative play. The Liberator Wedge is a great option if you’re looking for a pillow to make doggy style better. “If the receiving partner leans over the pillow, they won’t sink into the bed,” Wolfe says. Sex swing
Sure, sex swings can be used by kinky couples. But according to Wolfe, “They’re a great option for any couple that wants to try new positions, angles, or heights.” For example, with the help of a sex swing, “standing” positions that require one partner to support the other’s body weight suddenly become available. What sex swing should you get? Consider these: If you’re short on space: Sportsheets Door Jam Sex Sling If you’ve got a sex dungeon or room: Extreme Restraints Sling and Swing Stand If you don’t have housemates: Trinity Vibes Ultimate Spinning Swing So, what sex toy should you buy? It all comes down to knowing what you like and finding a toy that helps you do it. Or, knowing what you like, and finding a toy that gives you a little extra-extra while you’re doing it! So, before you hand over your credit card, spend some time getting down with your sexy self and learning what you like! Try not to pout: There have been wayyy worse homework assignments than “masturbate.”
What is your relationship with self-pleasure? This may be one of the most difficult things to talk about as a person with vulva in Singapore. Our sexual education in schools is limited and we still suffer from what is known as the orgasm gap. For now, let's focus on sex toys for pals with vulvae specifically. How and where do you look for sex toys? How can you get away with doing so without being so embarrassed you might explode? Before we begin, figure out what you like by using nature's toys: your fingers. Touch, stroke, circle or rub your clitoris, try fingering yourself or even rubbing your vulva. Do you prefer internal or external stimulation or both? Do you like stimulating your G-spot? How much thickness is too much? Do you prefer something stiffer? These can inform your purchasing decision. That said, you need to figure out what your budget is as these toys can be quite pricey. This does not mean those that cost less are terrible, they may just come with fewer features such as waterproofing or require batteries instead of being chargeable. MATERIAL OF SEX TOYS Now, let’s talk about the types of sex toys and what makes a cheap or expensive toy. The main difference would be the materials used and the technology behind it. It’s quite similar to buying computer parts in that sense. Unfortunately, the sex toy industry is not regulated, so sometimes you may not even be certain of its purity. Make sure to look at the materials used and keep yourself informed as some of these toys may be made with cheaper, and sometimes dangerous, material.
Penile SoundingThe main types of materials used are: Silicone Being squishy (and hence somewhat lifelike) as well as mostly inert, silicone is the most popular choice for sex toys. Look out for “phthalate-free” and “body-safe” in the copy, and either “food-grade,” or “medical-grade” in the ingredients. Theoretically, all silicone should not be porous and stay inert. “Food-grade” is not medically tested, but the idea is that food-grade silicone does not transfer chemicals to food when it’s heated or cooled. The theory is that food-grade silicone will work the same way with the human body, but this is unproven. The safest option, especially if the toy is being inserted, is medical-grade silicone. This is also the most expensive option. This is the material used in breast implants and is regulated by the FDA's Center for Devices and Radiological Health. Medical-grade silicone is the only one that has actually been tested to interact with human bodies.
Fake silicone Some toys may be listed as silicone, but the ingredient list may say “jelly rubber” and polyvinyl chloride (PVC). These are porous, meaning that bacteria can get inside the toy and make it almost impossible to clean properly. Remember the clear jelly shoes that were trendy a while back? Those were also made of jelly rubber. These tend to be much more affordable, but are not very hygienic and may produce smells or become sticky after some time. Glass or metal (steel) These are inert materials that won't leak chemicals or harbour bacteria (as long as you're washing your toys correctly). Glass or metal toys can be very durable and hygienic, but the rigid material may be a con to some. The qualities of the material also allow for temperature-play exploration. This category of toys would be in the mid-range. If you want something that has some tech in it, i.e. is powered (vibrates or thrusts), silicone will likely be the material that encapsulates the tech. This is why silicone toys can range from $50 to a few hundred. This is then dependent on the technology included in your toy. Premium features could be being packaged in an inconspicuous container (like a lamp or necklace), having an app that allows remote (Bluetooth or long distance) control, or being self-thrusting. Generally, $50-$70 can get you a quality toy that will last.
In general, for penetrative toys, the expert advice would be to always put a condom over your toy to ensure safety. This is particularly for fake silicone or food-grade silicone toys (if you’re super concerned!) Condoms also make using sex toys with multiple partners safer. TYPES OF SEX TOYS Besides the material used, sex toys aimed at those with vulvas can be broken down roughly into internal and external stimulators. In general, external stimulation focuses on the clitoris or the labia majora, while internal stimulation focuses on penetration or the G-spot. Some have both too! External stimulators Vacuum suction
Estim ClitA recent innovation, these toys feature a flickering or sucking sensation that focuses on the clitoris. This is ideal for people who love clitoris stimulation, but not if you get overstimulated easily, or if your clitoris is hyper-sensitive. General external vibrators They may look like an egg or some other innocuous flat item. It’s meant to be used by holding it against your labia majora (or wearing it in your underwear for the lazier of us), for slight stimulation. They can also be vibrators for the clitoris. It applies a more general pressure and may be better for those who dislike extreme focus on the clitoris. Wands Made famous by Sex and the City, the wand-type toy is modelled after the iconic Hitachi wand. Many options are available on the market now, from wired (for very intense vibrations) to rechargeable (wire-free) and waterproof. The wired options may be louder and be uncomfortable to use if you’re afraid of being overheard. This toy is an in-between option where you can exercise control by placing it on the clitoris or a more general area. Some wands also have attachments that allow for internal stimulation as well.
Internal stimulators Dildos Probably the most well-known type of toy, dildos are made of the most varied material and can come in 'realistic' and more 'fantastical' shapes. Fantastical shapes can be intimidating and are also more expensive. Dildos range in size from 3 inches to 11 inches and colour, from flesh tones to the rainbow. There is also a range of diameters it comes in, so look out for that information if you know you prefer a certain thickness. Dildos may be straightforward, but you can be inventive with them. Some feature a suction cup too! Rabbits Rabbits are touted as the best of both worlds, stimulating both the clitoris, typically having a two-pronged external feature (thus giving it the moniker “rabbit,” although some just feature one prong) as well as a penetrative dildo part. The idea is that moving the dildo will move the external feature against the clitoris as well. Some rabbit toys also vibrate, and some allow individual control of both the rabbit and dildo. This toy may not be suitable if you think your clitoris is spaced a bit farther/closer than the average as the rabbit feature may not touch your clitoris.
G-spot targeters These are quite similar to dildos in that they are a similar shape, though they can sometimes be a rabbit as well. These toys are specifically angled to reach that elusive “magic spot” instead of the more straightforward in-out of a dildo. These are great for those who love stimulating the g-spot. How do you judge if you will like such toys? Here’s a handy guide with some tips on how to evaluate a toy! WHERE TO BUY TOYS (DISCREETLY) Here's the hard part now that you know more about toys. Where can you get them? Although we may believe and advocate for taking charge of your self-pleasure and freeing yourself from shame, it is a fact that people still judge when you even simply take a glance at the condom section. With that, we offer some recommendations that can help you avoid these barriers.
ProductFirst of all, other than physical sex shops that seem seedy, Watson's and Guardian actually sell a few of the types we spoke about, for a reasonable ($50 range) price and performance! They stock toys from Smile Makers, a local company focusing on women's pleasure. This line of toys can also be found on The WYLD Shop, Qoo10 and Lazada. Other than these "normal" shops, be it online or physical, you can obviously find toys on sex toy websites (a simple Google search will produce results). Most of them offer discreet shipping, which means that these come in unbranded brown packaging with little to no information. If you're concerned about your family finding out, local ones will also offer POPstation pickup or store pickup (usually at innocuous warehouses, no fear, except perhaps when you face the receptionist). You can also look at some international sex toy websites, as they may offer free shipping as well as student discounts When it comes to most activities in life, the right tools can help you get there, and then some. That’s especially true for sex. Whether you’re looking to have fun on your own, or with others, the right sex toys can help amplify pleasure and reintroduce a bit of curiosity and novelty into the bedroom. We don’t have to tell you all the benefits of an orgasm!
Sex toys are fast becoming household staples, and why not? The 21st century has brought us plenty of life-changing tech and the same goes for adult toys. If you’re new to the sex toy scene or just looking to learn more, then keep on reading! In this complete guide to sex toys, we talk about: finding a suitable toy for you avoiding what’s wrong for you which toys we recommend how to store and clean those prized possessions best practice tips Before you get down and dirty, get educated! What to look for (or look OUT for) when finding the right toy You’re not alone on your search for the perfect sex toy. In fact, 50% of women start using sex toys in their 20s!
To figure out the best toy for you, identify and isolate what you’re trying to do with your sex toy. For example, are you looking to stimulate a specific body part, treat yourself – or your partner? Perhaps you’re looking for something to enhance how you already have sex or something utterly new to spice things up. Once you’ve got an idea in your head of what you’re looking for, you can begin to decide on the sex toy that will help you reach your sexy goals. guide to sex toys If you want… CLITORAL STIMULATION Vibrators of all kinds, especially wands, and bullets, are perfect for externally stimulating the clitoris. For those who are ultra sensitive, there are now toys that stimulate the clitoris via pulsation, and air (i.e. The Womanizer). PENETRATIVE (VAGINAL, OR G-SPOT) STIMULATION Dildos, and classic vibrators can be used to penetrate and stimulate from the inside, out. There are G-spot specific vibrators and dildos that are less ‘real-feel’ and more so designed to reach that special place.
Electro SoundingBOTH CLITORAL AND VAGINAL Why not have the best of both worlds? Rabbit-style vibrators have both an internal penetrative component and an external clitoral stimulator. Make sure whichever dual-stimulation toy you purchase has a clitoral stimulator that works for you and your body. Clitoral stimulators that are soft and flexible work best as they adapt to your shape and movement. SEX SIMULATORS Fleshlights, sex dolls, and real-feel butts, boobs, and dildos, are all great sex toy options for those who want to get closer to the real experience. PROSTATE STIMULATION The elusive prostate is well worth a tickle. If you’re looking for a mind-blowing sensation, then make sure to keep a prostate massager in your sex toy arsenal.
IMPROVE PENETRATIVE SEX If you’re looking to enhance the sex you’re already having, try cock rings (especially the vibrating kind) and other aforementioned masturbating toys that you can use on each other or mutually. If you want to spice things up, try getting kinky with tickling feathers, handcuffs, whips, and blindfolds. After deciding on what type of toy you want, consider other variables, such as: material whether the toy is discreet, mobile, or accessible level of maintenance pink sex toy Materials You should be thinking about whether you have any allergies, whether you want a lifelike feel, how bothered you are with sanitizing your toys, and how much money you’re willing to spend on maintenance. Toys usually come in four different materials: silicone, rubber/jelly, glass, and stainless steel.
silicone rubber/jelly glass stainless steel Here are some pros and cons to each: SILICONE Most modern sex toys are made of silicone, and that’s a good thing. It has a soft, skin-like feel and provides flexibility – making it a suitable material for intimate toys. It’s generally safe (make sure you stick to 100% silicone, though), easy to clean, and not porous – so it won’t absorb any chemicals or bacteria over time. While silicone is an excellent material to look out for when buying toys, remember that high-quality silicone products are costly. Also, make sure to use, clean, and store your silicone toys properly – as they’re fairly easy to disfigure. Silicone lubes will cause them to melt, and storing them with other silicone toys will result in the same issue. Keep them out of the dishwasher and boiling water, as silicone toys will also melt at high temperatures.
RUBBER / PLASTIC JELLY Rubber and plastic jelly toys are often what inexpensive dildos are made of. Rubber can produce a massive variety of textured feels, colors, and shapes –making it an easy choice for dildos. However, even though you save some cash, rubber and plastic jelly toys do have quite a few downsides. They’re often made of a mix of plastics and chemicals, meaning they can easily irritate the skin. Rubber is also a porous material, making it more susceptible to bacterial biofilms, and more likely to absorb harmful chemicals or unpleasant odors. You should try to use condoms with rubber toys for this very reason. Because they are porous, rubber toys often have a much shorter shelf life, so it might be better to invest in a high-quality material for the long term. GLASS Glass toys, while fragile, a bit heavier, and less discreet, are great for penetrative play. They retain heat, making them pleasurable to use over time, or for use with temperature play specifically.
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